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World History from the View of Someone Who Cheated Their Way Through

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Illustration by Justin Lau. Illustration by Justin Lau. A zillion years ago, a big, huge lump of dirt fell on the ground, but it didn’t hit the ground, it just kinda stopped falling and started to float. Or maybe it never stopped falling. Maybe we still are falling. Who knows. Nobody I know really can say they saw it, so it’s all speculation for real. So, whatever. This big, huge ball of dirt, of mud, of soil, it kinda has to spin to stay floating (or falling) and eventually (the same way old bread gets moldy, the same way old …